Mein Pessimismus

Names changed to protect the innocent, oh screw that...

2003-01-19T05:21:42Z

Disclaimer: Please understand that we are not Nazis; we're just tards.

Dyne: did you dye your hair blonde?
Slinka: ummmm
Dyne: i know you really really want it
Dyne: but hitler won't love you just because it's dyed
Dyne: ;)
Dyne: jk jk jk
Dyne: !!!
Dyne: :O
Dyne: shhh
Slinka: but i used to have red hair
Dyne: viking
Dyne: or scottish
Dyne: either way
Slinka: he doesn't like that?
Dyne: nope.
Dyne: only me
Slinka: damn
Slinka: you know why?
Dyne: why
Slinka: it's the meatballs
Slinka: hitler loved meatballs
Dyne: the whonow?
Slinka: he was mad for them
Dyne: i don't have meat balls
Slinka: but you're a Swede
Dyne: ahh
Dyne: yes!
Dyne: and i am blonde/blue
Slinka: he was just nuts about them, little known fact
Dyne: if i had blue hair and blonde eyes he'd just orgasm all over me.
Slinka: eww
Dyne: indeed
Slinka: hitlergasm :(
Dyne: if i could see one thing in the world
Slinka: oh god, i can't believe i just said that
Dyne: i'd like to see hitler having sex with his woman
Dyne: just to see
Slinka: i can't imagine it was any good
Dyne: here is an evil man.. having sex.
Dyne: it's just not something you think about.
Slinka: but maybe he yelled a lot and got all frustrated n stuff
Dyne: lol
Dyne: the fury
Slinka: ha!
Slinka: poor Eva
Dyne: "oh ohh ahhh DEUTSCHLAND UBER ALLES!!!"
Slinka: but I bet she liked it, kinda like having sex with satan
Dyne: lol!
Dyne: i bet he made her wear an SS uniform and salute him
Slinka: i mean really, that's something to brag about
Slinka: possibly :)
Dyne: lol
Dyne: screwing a monster?
Slinka: well ya
Dyne: i wish i did
Dyne: i'd have hitlers baby if given the chance, wouldn't you?
Dyne: ;)
Slinka: he was The Man of his time; it'd be hard to say no :P
Dyne: lol
Dyne: everyone wanted a piece of the fuhrer
Slinka: haha!
Slinka: you do realize...
Slinka: if there were a hell, we'd be going there for this
Dyne: i'd be going for a lot more than this, this would just be extra years.
Dyne: but if we do
Dyne: i'll save you a beachfront property on the lake of fire.
Slinka: thanks!
Slinka: pretty lake
Dyne: we can walk our pet rapists together.
Slinka: hehe
Slinka: now...
Dyne: i'd imagine that in hell the lesser criminals would have some sort of seniority over the really awful ones.
Slinka: are those rapists we have as pets, or are those ppl who rape pets?
Dyne: rapists we have as pets
Dyne: deprived of genitalia
Dyne: neutered if you will
Slinka: ahh
Dyne: murderers would mow our lawns for us.
Dyne: which hurts because the lawn is jagged glass
Dyne: and they mow it with their lips
Slinka: so we get all these benefits because...?
Dyne: we're bad, but still good.
Dyne: i've never killed or raped!
Slinka: ahhokay
Dyne: *eyes you suspiciously*
Dyne: have YOU
Slinka: hehe
Slinka: of course not
Dyne: maybe you'll be mowing my grass
Dyne: oh ok
Dyne: fine then!
Dyne: you are my future neighbor in hell
Slinka: howdy neighbour
Dyne: i'll be trimming my hedges as you walk out to get the mail, and we'll wave to each other and talk about the latest neighborhood gossip over the fence, just like on TV!
Dyne: god i can't wait to die!
Dyne: :P
Slinka: just like the Simpsons
Dyne: yes
Dyne: you get to be flanders though
Slinka: damn it
Dyne: because i somehow see you as the person who would start believing in christ as soon as she went to hell
Dyne: ;)
Slinka: well no shit
Dyne: "ah, slinka. you're going to hell!"
Slinka: wouldn't you?
Dyne: "BUT WHY!"
Dyne: "you don't believe in jesus"
Dyne: "oh. my bad"
Slinka: ha!
Dyne: no i wouldn't
Dyne: i'd stand by my beliefs
Slinka: c'mon...
Slinka: you're in HELL!
Dyne: i'm sure as soon as you get promoted to heaven you'd put in a good word for me
Slinka: you don't start believing in Christianity when you're in Hell?
Dyne: no
Dyne: i'm not a conformist
Dyne: ;)
Slinka: :P
Dyne: i'd just keep telling myself "this isn't hell. it's a ugly cave"
Dyne: then i'd overthrow satan and want to stay anyways.
Slinka: with fire and screaming and pain, yup, just a cave
Dyne: dude
Dyne: hitler would live accross the street from me
Dyne: why would i want to leave?
Dyne: imagine the stories
Dyne: ;)
Slinka: and you'd get to spy on him having sex!
Dyne: "this one time i tied eva to the propeller of a luftwaffe"
Slinka: LOL
Dyne: :D
Slinka: i think Eva had control issues
Dyne: how so
Slinka: c'mon, she liked Hitlet!
Slinka: *Hitler
Slinka: she _did_ him
Dyne: to germans he wasn't a bad guy though. :)
Dyne: until he snapped
Dyne: but that wasn't for a while.
Dyne: he convinced germany that jews weren't human.
Slinka: he ruled the state though, she's just like the chicks who did Clinton
Slinka: just a little more extreme
Dyne: lol
Dyne: some women are attracted to power.
Slinka: yup
Dyne: like those gor bitches.
Dyne: ;)
Slinka: yup, the gor bitches have control issues

And then it just degenerated into general idiocy from there...

Gravity hurts.

2003-01-01T03:49:18Z

Well talking Sake bottle, we have come to an end, you and I. I have been in your thrall but, alas, you are empty and I am glad.

On a side note, I may have carpeting, but my floor is pretty fucking hard anywho.
Think I'll sleep now. Bye bye now.

The Sake is staring at me!

2003-01-01T03:31:21Z

The Sake glass is staring at me, saying: "hey you, only two more drinks and the bottle is done..."
And I am say ing back, "No, no, I don't want to squeal like a howler monkey anymore! PLEEEEEEZE! Have mercy."
And the Sake is saying, "Fraid not. Drink up, fucker."
Oh God, help me.

Happy New Year n shit

2002-12-31T21:20:20Z

I'm not particularly excited about tonight but I am so fucking happy to see the ass-end of this year. It can't come fast enough.
Bye bye 2002, you bitch; I hope to never see a year the likes of you again.

whipsnade @ 2002-12-28T16:14:00

2002-12-28T21:18:31Z

I have a knife
I’d like to perforate your skin,
make seams and
peel you open,
to rip into you the way you rip into me
I’d like to pierce your heart,
have it open for me
I want you vulnerable
when I lie down beside you
legs clasped,
mouths attached,
two sucking chest wounds pressed against each other,
great gaping needs swallowing everything,
and let myself become inoperative
so you can wash your hands in alcohol
and walk away from it all

Hrmmm...

2002-12-28T00:55:22Z

Though I was certain of something, now I'm not so cocksure.
Told myself not to be so damn confident.

Warning: Sentiments of a saccharine nature ahead..

2002-12-19T17:16:54Z

Feelin fine.
Despite being sick and sore and all that other good stuff, and the fact that it is winter which I hate, I have been in an awesome mood lately. I'm not ecstatic or elated or anything, just feeling better than average. And since I am not, by nature, a "down" person, I'd have to say that I might even feel great. I don't even know why. I guess things have just been working themselves out in my head. I guess I just needed to remove myself from the circus for a while and get sorted. Thanks to anyone who's been supportive in any way, through friendship, companionship, theft or online inanity. (I'm not saying I'm done needing the support; I'm just thanking you for it now. :))

Since I have nothing amusing to say, I guess I'll shut up now before I make myself barf.
Oh wait, yes I do.
My hair looks mighty ass today.

How do you like your eggs, bitch? I might as well make you breakfast while I'm serving you your ass

2002-12-14T07:18:11Z

Events of the night:
-was carried down the parking garage stairwell because I was wearing The Boots
-saw the Kreative Assassins again
-my bum was grabbed (my actual bum; they reached under my skirt)
-was offered money to step on someone (because of The Boots) but he only had $5 so I declined
-creepy man in leather mask kissed my hand and told me I was incredible (I did look pretty fucking hawt ;))
-saw Hot Rob *drools* (alas did not go home with Hot Rob, did not even talk to Hot Rob)
-feet are killing me because of *pause for effect* The Boots
-dumb stripper bitch knocked over a candle and spilled hot wax on my leg and The Boots (she must die)

whipsnade @ 2002-12-08T14:54:00

2002-12-08T20:00:42Z

Disarmed

I am in pieces,
waiting for you to examine me
on clean white sheets,
strewn wide
Disassembled,
I can watch with remove
as you stroke what you approve
and toss the complexities aside,
I wish I'd known
before this excision
you’d be careless with my precision,
that you preferred
a more elementary design
and inferior construction,
before this reduction,
before you had me in pieces

Selfish and angry, and sloppy, and I am done with it. Bleh.

whipsnade @ 2002-12-04T12:41:00

2002-12-04T17:41:52Z

I think I could probably write some pretty good shit right now, but it would probably drive me insane.

Finished today...

2002-11-27T05:09:28Z

Ventilation

Going under
under your ministrations,
I am suffocating on elation
Counting backward,
the room gets blacker
Your fingers filter my inhalations
and wring out satisfaction
You lift away your hands,
leaving bruises where you’ve been
Air returns to my lungs of tin,
ventilating in
I breathe again

A lesson on tigers

2002-11-21T20:36:05Z

Doesn't matter how small it is, when a tiger is injured, don't go poking at its wounds.
Rawr!

This message brought to you by the Discovery Channel.

Did this one today...

2002-11-21T03:28:51Z

I surface blank
from your sensory deprivation tank,
your stimulus dripping down
my slickness,
your absence sinking in
my skin
Your omission leaves uncertainty,
a breathless sort of vacancy,
a passiveness,
a sense of waiting to break down

Photos by Jill

2002-10-23T03:00:07Z

^My favourite

Just finished this

2002-10-08T01:50:26Z

Your Ether

Operating blindly
under your careless anesthetic,
I’d like to cut into the mass of me
to find the flaw that makes you so relieved
and remove the sickness cleanly
But your ether weighs so heavy
It crushes me to dust,
grinds my insides finely
and dissolves away my energy
So I remove what I can reach,
wanting pangs of reassurance,
pricking for signs of feeling,
before this detachment numbs me

Conversations about penii

2002-09-28T05:29:42Z

Me: Do you have a watch on?
Him: Can't you tell?
Me: Huh?
Him: Wait, what did you ask me?
Me: I said, do you have a watch on?
Him: Oh, I thought you asked if I had a hard-on.
(I laugh.)
Him: Hard-on yes, watch on no.
Me: (laughing) OK.

Later...
Him: We're wearing the same nail polish.
Me: Did you paint your toenails too?
Him: No, but I did paint the head of my...
Me: Oh man!
Him: Oh ya, you've never seen the sick and perverted me before. When the two of you were together, I respected that, but now that you're not together, I can talk about my cock all I want. (Pause.) Consider that the first inappropriate comment of the night.

Ya, it was time to leave.

Found this poem that I wrote a while ago but still quite like

2002-09-02T00:20:04Z

The Model

I stand here an untitled mess
till you reduce me one dimension less
The ruthless lancing of my imperfections
strips me with a quickness
that hits me like a fist
Lust is evident in the lines
for an excellence in the paper fineness
that the flesh does not possess,
an infatuation for the distillation
that renders the body useless

whipsnade @ 2002-08-29T19:58:00

2002-08-30T00:09:15Z

I was in an old neighbourhood today and as I passed by certain "landmarks", I had some funny memories.
When I was in University, I used to live in this shithole apartment across the street from a scummy dive bar, the DH. This made it very convenient to stumble home after a rough night.
I remember running out of there one night in a total panic, just flying on some strong LSD. I didn't say a word to my friends there, I just took off. Of course, they knew where I went. About an hour later (to my mind anyway, it could have been 2 hrs, it could have been 10 mins) my friends crossed the street to find me in my apartment, trippin out, lying in bed with my coat and dirty winter boots on, waving my hands in front of my face.
I thought I was gonna die at the time but it's funny as hell now. Man, the idiotic things I used to do...
Is youth wasted on the young? Damn straight.

At the bus stop...

2002-07-05T22:28:52Z

he: Damn, you look like a covergirl. You got style, girl. Bet you get that all the time, people callin you a covergirl.
me: Nope.
he: Bet I made your day then.
me: You sure did.
he: no one ever called you a covergirl before, this the first time?
me: Yup.
he: Damn, I'm original. I know beauty when I see it.
me: Ha.
he: You the beauty, I'm the beast.
me: Haha, oh shit.
he: What's your name, Beautiful?
(I tell him.)
he: I'm Johnny, they call me Hammer. I'm in the limousine business. I'm with Elegance Limousine. So, you need a limo, you call Hammer.
me: I'll remember.
he: See you later, Beautiful.
me: Alright.

Surreal :)

Freeze!

2002-05-31T21:37:08Z

whipsnade @ 2002-05-30T14:44:00

2002-05-30T19:04:32Z

Got an invitation to join a modelling agency today. Whoopty-fucking-doo. There's no way I can get to Toronto on weekends now. I think I'm going to just cancel the photoshoot. It will just cut into time I need for other things. If this were happening at any other time, it would probably bother me that I can't try it out at least. Right now, it's nowhere near a priority.

On a side note,
pass 20 jackasses in a row, at least one will say something negative.

Also, saw the sweetest little dress today. Now all I need is money to buy it and a reason to wear it.

Alcoholic conversations

2002-05-27T04:29:08Z

Had a great time with my friend on the weekend, but she brought up a funny thing. She said she could never be in a threeway with me (we were drinking an awful lot) because she could never live up to my performance. So the question is, just who has been talking about my performance?

How I know I'm miserable:

2002-05-13T07:25:34Z

Stupid little self-destructive urges keep popping into my head. I want to get wasted in the afternoon. I want morphine. I want opium. I want throw-away sex in the bathroom of a club with a stranger. I want to do dangerous things, and I want the bruises to show for it.

Will I do any of this? Of course not, but I'm itchin' to.

whipsnade @ 2002-05-11T10:05:00

2002-05-11T14:01:22Z

My list of people to tase (so far):
#1) Eskimo Lady
#2) the bastard who told his friend to follow me and rape me. Yes, I heard you.

Now all I need is that taser.

The antithesis of romance

2002-05-09T14:00:31Z

He brought his PDA to bed.
I sometimes wish that he was dead.